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Red Tractor USA is a  news satire and political satire site - fake news - all B.S.  

News Satire From The Field

Red Tractor USA is a  news satire and political satire site - fake news - all B.S.  

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Bekins Moving Into The Future

Chicago, IL –Bobzaguy  -The Bekins folks are bound to make moving a snap for their customers this time, for sure.  Compression is the new name of the moving game for this century-old company. Soon, the familiar semi-trailers will be parked for good. Computer giant Maxis, the developers of Sim City - the game for people who like to control everything - has teamed up with Bekins to revolutionize the moving industry. And wow. What a great idea!

Bekins Moving Truck

With the help of secret software algorithms, the friendly movers will walk through your house and compress everything you are wanting to move. Then they will pack it for you in special carrying cases and deliver it to your new residence. Sound familiar?  

Well, it is. With a little change. What once would take a semi-trailer to move a 3 BR 2 BTH with Den will now fit into a VW bug! That's right, a VW! And get this, a studio apt., once several van loads worth of space, now is only a backpack! And you don't even need Bekins to move it! You can carry it onto a plane and fly to your new home.

A 1 BR apt. - a backpack and an overnite bag; a 2 BR apt., - a weekender and an overnite; a 3 BR apt., - 2 weekenders. And this includes all the clothes, dishes, pots and pans, paintings and books.

It doesn't include pets. Yet.

Of course, you have to have the movers at the other end ready with their software to decompress your belongings, but they come out sparkling clean, no dust at all. And the clothes are pressed and folded as well.

"Ah," you say, "what's the cost of all this?" Well, not as much as you would think. Since the movers don't need trucks and lots of people to pack and carry and unpack, it is quite a bit less. And if you drive the vehicle yourself, they don't have to go along. Just have someone from Bekins meet you at the new address and zippo! you have moved!

In speaking with William Ralph Wright, the founder of Sim City, we found that he is awed by the application of his software concept to get people to move their belongings so easily. "I am awed by this concept" he said when pressed for a comment.

 

Past News Satire Headlines                  

American Family Flees To Mexico
Chicks Are Psycho
Glenn Beck Guns on Campus
Marijuana Bongs Recalled
Neighborhood Gone Bad
Pope Benedict's Secret
Study: Trailer Trash Live In Trailer Parks
Tips For Saving Gas
Union on Strike
Viagra Lawsuit
Wal-Mart To Offer Sex Toys

 

Past Political Satire

Bill O'Reilly "I'm not a racist"
Bush Economic Policy
Bush Education Program
Bush Immigration Boders
Bush Torture Zcar
Carrot And Stick
Cheney Naval Observatory
Dick Cheney Naval Observatory
Duct Tape Auction
George Bush Boxing
Global Warming
Google NSA Join Forces
John McCain Running Mate
Laura Bush Book on Masturbation
Laura Bush Smoking and Drinking
Mike Huckabee Meets Pat Robertson
Mike Huckabee Meets Pat Robertson
Political Reality TV
Waterboarding added to 2008 Olympics
Waterboarding added to 2008 Olympics

 

Business Satire

Air Phone
Bathroom Time Monitored
Bekins Movers
Chinese Chopsticks Recall
Fast Walking Employee
Greyhound Deterring Passengers and Terrorists
Holiday Party At Wendy's
Home Depot Humor
Homeless Cell Phones
Mattel Barbie Resigns
McDonald's Drive Through Outsourced
Problem Solving Flow Chart
Voice Mail Greetings
Wal-Mart Layoffs
Yellow Posted Notes

 

 

 

 

08/18/2008

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News Satire Disclaimer

Red Tractor USA is a news satire and political satire web publication.   All news articles contained within are fiction, fake news,  news satire, humor, political satire or general humor and satire news.  All names used are fictional except those belonging to celebrities and politicians.   Any resemblance to the truth is a pure coincidence in cases of news satire except for all references to George W. Bush, the Bush administration, Dick Cheney, and the White House.     Red Tractor USA is intended for a mature audience.   If our site is offensive in any way, please watch Glenn Beck or  Bill O'Reilly if you are more comfortable with lies, distortions and half truths.  If you have a sense of humor and enjoy news satire and political satire, please enjoy.  

 

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