New George Bush ‘Leave ‘em Behind’
Education Program
WASHINGTON DC, - BobZaguy
-Secretary of Education, Margaret
Spellings - George Bush’s education adviser in Texas as well as in the White
House - was one of the driving forces behind No Child Left Behind, known
throughout the Beltway as NCLB. Now, in a spin of activity to cement her tenure
in DOE, she has begun a new college level program to be funded by the federal
government. It is called SWAPYTTO (pronounced swap-pito) which is the acronym
for “students who aren’t prepared - you toss them overboard”. This is the
ultimate George Bush ‘Leave ‘em Behind’ education program and it will be funded
by loan money normally given to students who want to, but can’t afford to attend
a college or university.
The hundreds of millions in loan monies being used will pay
for consultants throughout the country who have great ideas of how to get these
NCLB students into a college-like atmosphere long enough to convince prospective
employers that they have college experience.
Heading this nation-wide effort to instill college life
on educationally impoverished young people is Mr. Charles Miller, a Texas
entrepreneur who played a central role in devising the model for his state’s
system of public-school testing and accountability.
When asked to justify this high expense, Mr. Miller said
“it seems almost futile to send kids to college if they are going to fail and
drop out.” He continued, “we need to be more pro-active than just financing a
failure, we need to show results. I think I have the solution.”
His solution is to buy the trailer loads of surplus used
college text books and t-shirts and sweat shirts from the thousands of colleges
that would normally receive this money as tuition. This will increase spending
on the products that the schools have to lay out their cash to buy. In turn the
SWAPYTTOs will get books and sweatshirts they can use to convince future
employers that they are in the college lifestyle.
The Spellings theory here is “why spend 4+ years in
school when you can be washing cars, drag racing, hanging out at the local
drive-in...your college sweatshirt will show your new employer that you have the
college spirit. That’s what counts anyway.”
And all that wasted tuition money can be spend on what
really matters, college clothes and other neat stuff. The babes love cool
clothes.
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