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Red Tractor USA is a  news satire and political satire site - fake news - all B.S.  

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Chinese Chopstick Recall

Bejing, China   In a rather difficult scenario, China has recalled all of its recently shipped, disposable wood chopsticks – in excess of 45 billion pairs – the equivalent to about 25 million trees. China’s governmental food spokesperson, Chiu Ree, said the problem is centered on the chemical makeup of the lacquer that is applied to the chopsticks in the finishing process. Lead has been discovered in the paint and lacquer by the testing body.

Chinese Chopsticks

Wooden chopsticks are painted or lacquered to decorate them and make them waterproof. Water soaked chopsticks become useless when they are limp.  

Mr. Chiu stated in a press conference, “sadly there will be no chopsticks in the near future for Japan and Korea. These two countries, long our largest customers, will have to make do with plastic knife and fork. Competing suppliers will probably make a killing. We will lose our market share.” 

Chiu elaborated that “about one-third of Chinese chopsticks go to Japan and South Korea, while the rest are used locally. We need to replant our birch forests and that will take a good amount of time. It will also take some time to find 25 million replacement trees.”

Some people think that the Chinese scholar Confucius, a vegetarian who lived from roughly 551 to 479 B.C., influenced the development of chopsticks. He believed that knives would remind people of slaughterhouses and were too violent for use at the table

The Chinese have been using chopsticks for five thousand years. Japan outlawed the cutting of its local bamboo for disposable chopsticks, so China was exporting large amounts to Japan. Bamboo is the most common material. White birch wood is second. Annual Japanese per capita consumption is over 200 pairs, well over 25 billion pairs annually.

Plastic knife and fork manufacturers are beginning a marketing campaign to elevate the knife to its rightful place in the dining experience. They are using the traditional sushi chef’s association, Yu Chop To Eat, to educate the Japanese public in the use of the knife at the table.

By BobZaguy 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

08/18/2008

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News Satire Disclaimer

Red Tractor USA is a news satire and political satire web publication.   All news articles contained within are fiction, fake news,  news satire, humor, political satire or general humor and satire news.  All names used are fictional except those belonging to celebrities and politicians.   Any resemblance to the truth is a pure coincidence in cases of news satire except for all references to George W. Bush, the Bush administration, Dick Cheney, and the White House.     Red Tractor USA is intended for a mature audience.   If our site is offensive in any way, please watch Glenn Beck or  Bill O'Reilly if you are more comfortable with lies, distortions and half truths.  If you have a sense of humor and enjoy news satire and political satire, please enjoy.  

 

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