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Pills Force Man To Think Only About Sex, Man Sues

ViagraSaying that he became a slave to his penis when he was prescribed Viagra, Ohio resident John A. Wills filed suit today in Seabury County court against Pfizer Inc., the makers of the drug. Full Story

Deodorant Commercial Entirely Accurate

Deodorant ManLOS ANGELES, Ca. –  Justin White, 26, was pleased to find that upon waking up and applying copious amounts of Axe deodorant body spray to his hairless upper torso, his day unfolded exactly as depicted in a recent commercial he saw for the product. Full Story

 

Employee Bathroom Time Monitored With New Electronic Hand Dryer

Detroit, Mi- While most employees now are aware that their employers can monitor their phone and email communications, many may not be aware of a new trend being seen in companies across the country.

Hand Dryer

The latest trend in employee monitoring has extended in to the corporate bathroom.   Aided by new finger print recognition technology, those electronic hand dryers mounted on bathroom walls are keeping tabs on how much time individual employees spend in the bathroom. 

In addition to drying hands when your hand moves across it’s fan, sensors in this new breed of hand dryer can scan your fingerprint and record how often you visit the corporate washroom. 

Though most companies using this technology recognize that their employees might resent yet another invasion of their privacy, the savings in pay and increased productivity they gain from reducing time spent in the bathroom is worth while.

These new hand dryers are designed to connect to the corporate network and in many cases will report real time information to the corporate payroll system. 

Additionally, many companies adopting this technology will be in position to offer dietary advise, medical advise, or workplace counseling to employees that spend an above average amount of time in the bathroom. 

Interviewed at a larger car manufacturing company in Detroit Michigan,  a human resources representative who whished to remain anonymous told Red Tractor USA that "This new hand dryer will allow us to establish baseline for the average time spent in the bathroom by our employees and also allow us to proactively identify problem and work with employees who regularly spend excessive time in the bathroom.

By David Kruk

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Air Phone
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Chicks Are Psycho
Deodorant Commercial
Glenn Beck Guns on Campus
Living In Mexico
Marijuana Bongs Recalled
Overrated Slut Gives Bad Head
Pope Benedict's Secret
Sarah Palin Lipstick
Study: Trailer Trash Live In Trailer Parks
Tips For Saving Gas
Unconditional Love Terminated
Union on Strike
Wal-Mart To Offer Sex Toys

 

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Bill O'Reilly I'm not a racist
Bush Boxing Match
Bush Economic Policy
Bush Education Policy
Bush Immigration Boders
Bush Torture Zcar
Carrot And Stick
Cheney Naval Observatory
Duct Tape Auction
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Google NSA Join Forces
John McCain Running Mate
Laura Bush Book on Masturbation
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Limbaugh Hannity Cigar Party
Mike Huckabee Meets Pat Robertson
Mike Huckabee Meets Pat Robertson
Minneapolis Bridge To Somewhere
Political Reality TV
Waterboarding added to 2008 Olympics

 

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Bekins Movers
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Chinese Chopsticks Recalled
Depressing Office Building
Economic Stimulus Package
Employee Time Monitored
Fast Walking Employee
Greyhound Deterring Passengers and Terrorists
Holiday Party At Wendy's
Home Depot Humor
Homeless Cell Phones
Mattel Barbie Resigns
McDonald's Drive Through Outsourced
Microsoft McDonalds Christianity Merge
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Viagra Lawsuit
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09/26/2009

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Humor and Satire

Wal-Mart To Trim Payroll: Replaces Employees For The Second Time!

WalmartBentonville, Arkansas-Wal-Mart Corporation today announced a series of cost-cutting moves designed to decrease expenses and improve corporate profits.   In this latest initiative, Wal-Mart executives announced a plan to replace over 4,500 current employees with lower-paid newcomers.   Full Story test

 

Nation’s Pathetic Try Hard To Break Stereotypes, Fail

Pathetic ProtestWASHINGTON– Over 300,000 pathetic Americans nearly marched on Washington last Friday in an effort to shatter stereotypes that portray them as unable to organize, accomplish, or achieve, but instead didn’t. Full Story

 

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News Satire Disclaimer

Red Tractor USA is a news satire, political satire and political humor web publication.   All news articles contained within are fiction, fake news,  news satire, political humor, political satire or general humor and satire news.  All names used are fictional except those belonging to celebrities and politicians.   Any resemblance to the truth is a pure coincidence in cases of news satire except for all references to John McCain, Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, the Bush administration, Dick Cheney, and the White House.     Red Tractor USA is intended for a mature audience.

 

 

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