Laura Bush
Smoking And Drinking
Washington DC,
Wondering what Laura Bush has been up to lately? Intrigued by her complete
absence of any public appearances standing by her man, President George W.Bush,
Red Tractor USA recently set out to find out what the First Lady has been doing.
Turns out, not too much more than smoking her favorite cigarettes and drinking
beer.
That’s right, whether she
is down home on the ranch in Crawford or at home in the White House, apparently
Laura Bush has been spending much of her free time smoking cigarettes and
drinking beer. While Mrs. Bush has gone to great measures to hide these habits
in public and protect her squeaky clean “Lil-ol-me-the-librarian” image, word
has been spreading around Washington, DC and Crawford that the First Lady has
been increasingly smoking up a storm while relaxing over a cold beer.
Reports of Mrs. Bush’s
smoking habit first started circulating last summer when a tourist in
Washington, DC spotted the First Lady smoking a butt in the Rose Garden at the
White House. According to reports on the internet, Mrs. Bush has also been
frequently spotted smoking along with other White House staffers at the service
entrance.
In Crawford, Texas, where
President Bush and his wife Laura vacation at their sprawling ranch, Mrs. Bush
was recently spotted in December on several occasions hanging out at Fred’s
Country and Western Bar outside of town with her twin daughters Jenna and
Barbara. With a cigarette in one hand and a Miller Genuine Draft in the other,
the Fist Lady reportedly played shuffle puck with her daughters into the wee
hours of the morning on several occasions according to bar patrons.
While the White House would
not comment on this story, Red Tractor USA recently visited Fred’s bar. Fred
Steer, the owner of the bar told Red Tractor USA that Mrs. Bush has been a
regular customer for many years now.
Mr. Steer stated that
“While I do not want to go into any details about Mrs. Bush, since she is a
regular around here, I can tell you that she usually seems to be having a great
time and usually plays Patsy Kline on the jukebox. I can also tell you that she
does drink and smoke, but this is a bar, that’s what people do here.”
Back in Washington, Red
Tractor USA also investigated Mrs. Bush’s smoking and drinking habits. Across
the street from the White House on Pennsylvania Avenue, the owner of a 7-11
convenience store, a Mr. Kamal Patel, told Red Tractor USA the he has long
suspected that cigarettes and beer purchased by secret service agents were
really for one of the Bushes, but that he always figured that they were for the
Bush daughters.
When told that Mrs. Bush
herself prefers Camel cigarettes and drinks Miller Genuine Draft bottles, Mr.
Patel confirmed that those are the items the secret service agents stop in to
buy on a regular basis. Mr. Patel also stated, “These same agents also buy a
condom or two once a month or so, so who knows what's up with that?”
Other reports circulating
in Washington indicate that Mrs. Bush also spends a lot of time smoking in the private
bowling lane located in the basement of the White House.
According to sources
associated with the White House bowling alley, Mrs. Bush regularly visits the
White House Bowling lanes with friends at around 9pm on Monday and Wednesday
nights, after the President has gone to bed.
By David Kruk
|
The Torture Czar will work with CIA
director General Mike Hayden to ensure that CIA administered torture is
appropriate as related to the desired information that CIA agents are trying
obtained from detainees.